Thread: Does dowry system is the "Dream Killer" of girls?

Originally Posted by Adiza

In my POV you have to look into the root of the problem. Why this dowry system was brought into our society?

In earlier times, the dowry was given to the bride for financial independence in her life after marriage. The whole dowry properties belong to her, not to the groom or his family.
But nowadays it is not necessary that the girls should be given a dowry. Because most of the women are earning and they are financially independent. And in another POV, the bride is leaving her home and accepting another family as hers and living with them. So the groom side should give dowry for her. Nowadays, the parents have to educate their daughter and also have to save for the dowry. After her marriage, her earnings belong to groom family. But for a son, it is enough to educate him for a job. This is so unfair. If so, the contribution should be given equally by both families to start a new life. Dowry is not less than begging. He just has the guts to earn himself to keep her respectfully, who is giving lifetime commitment to him.

You got my point Adiza, nowadays girls equally educated and independent like men so there is no need for the dowry. our society should change so many old customs. Those were only applicable to the old lifestyle not fit with our current lifestyle.but from the above comments I can say our generation men are against the dowry system. So there is a hope that it will be completely get vanished from our society.

Originally Posted by Bhavya

You got my point Adiza, nowadays girls equally educated and independent like men so there is no need for the dowry. our society should change so many old customs. Those were only applicable to the old lifestyle not fit with our current lifestyle.but from the above comments I can say our generation men are against the dowry system. So there is a hope that it will be completely get vanished from our society.

Our generation men are still sons of previous generation parents. So you can't be sure that they will not ask dowry. In most families dowry decision belongs to parents. Whether children agree or not, parents force to get dowry from bride family.

Originally Posted by Adiza

Our generation men are still sons of previous generation parents. So you can't be sure that they will not ask dowry. In most families dowry decision belongs to parents. Whether children agree or not, parents force to get dowry from bride family.

True, When it's come to arrange marriage parents are the decision makers. Some men ask dowry for their parents even though they didn't like it. Men should brave enough to fight for their principles and values.

Originally Posted by Adiza

In my POV you have to look into the root of the problem. Why this dowry system was brought into our society?

In earlier times, the dowry was given to the bride for financial independence in her life after marriage. The whole dowry properties belong to her, not to the groom or his family.
But nowadays it is not necessary that the girls should be given a dowry. Because most of the women are earning and they are financially independent. And in another POV, the bride is leaving her home and accepting another family as hers and living with them. So the groom side should give dowry for her. Nowadays, the parents have to educate their daughter and also have to save for the dowry. After her marriage, her earnings belong to groom family. But for a son, it is enough to educate him for a job. This is so unfair. If so, the contribution should be given equally by both families to start a new life. Dowry is not less than begging. He just has the guts to earn himself to keep her respectfully, who is giving lifetime commitment to him.

You are right Adiza and that's why parents having more than one daughters feel stressed.They have to think about saving enough money to the dowry of their daughters, to plan the wedding and also to educate them.Nowadays groom side expect a bride with a good educational qualification and also expect more dowry.

Originally Posted by Bhavya

True, When it's come to arrange marriage parents are the decision makers. Some men ask dowry for their parents even though they didn't like it. Men should brave enough to fight for their principles and values.

The sad part is that love cum arranged marriage is also included in this dowry system.I have seen some such people, why can't the guy compromise their parents not to ask for dowry if she really loves the girl?

Originally Posted by Helena

You are right Adiza and that's why parents having more than one daughters feel stressed.They have to think about saving enough money to the dowry of their daughters, to plan the wedding and also to educate them.Nowadays groom side expect a bride with a good educational qualification and also expect more dowry.

That's how the equation son=asset; daughter= liability.... sad truth

Originally Posted by Helena

The sad part is that love cum arranged marriage is also included in this dowry system.I have seen some such people, why can't the guy compromise their parents not to ask for dowry if she really loves the girl?

Maybe he is bounded with all other decision of their parents because they have accepted the girl for their son.

Originally Posted by Adiza

Maybe he is bounded with all other decision of their parents because they have accepted the girl for their son.

Maybe who knows what they think, only the men can answer this question

Originally Posted by Adiza

That's how the equation son=asset; daughter= liability.... sad truth

Very true this the way society treats men and women, It will take a very long time to change this mindset.