Thread: Who knows the best way to reject something?

I'm a compulsive-pleaser and I'm bad at saying 'no' to anything. If someone asks a help from me, I say yes, even though I know they don't deserve it. If anyone asks me to finish some thing, I say Yes, even though I'm already stretching myself thin.If someone gives me an extra responsibility, I say Yes, though I know I could use some rest.
Actually, I tried saying No to some people at some instances, and I ended up regretting it later. It makes me feel guilty for rejecting some one's preposition. I feel responsible for what they'd feel after I say No.
This is a manufacturing fault I have, and I don't know how to recover from this without making enemies of people around me.

Any suggestions I could use to smoothly say no or reject something while not hurting their feelings?

Originally Posted by Bhavya

I have the same manufacturing defect, Hope we both get some solutions from here

Well, thank god I'm not the only one around here!

Take it positively. You have best quality of human being. and you manufacture to be kind and help others. People take advantage of others, that's where we live. Sometimes making enemies would be fun. if you are tired of doing it then make some good enemies to keep you going.

Maybe, try to explain your situation to them.

Originally Posted by Shana

Well, thank god I'm not the only one around here!

Don't think you both are the ones . There are many others including me.. but I have improved a lot in this one year. As I took some big responsibilities(big as millions) in my shoulder for this one year, I was just forced to say No . Everytime I used to explain my situation. Now I am little used to say no . I learnt another important thing that when I say yes and do something they will always come back to us another time. Still its a hard task to say NO

Originally Posted by Shana

I'm a compulsive-pleaser and I'm bad at saying 'no' to anything. If someone asks a help from me, I say yes, even though I know they don't deserve it. If anyone asks me to finish some thing, I say Yes, even though I'm already stretching myself thin.If someone gives me an extra responsibility, I say Yes, though I know I could use some rest.
Actually, I tried saying No to some people at some instances, and I ended up regretting it later. It makes me feel guilty for rejecting some one's preposition. I feel responsible for what they'd feel after I say No.
This is a manufacturing fault I have, and I don't know how to recover from this without making enemies of people around me.

Any suggestions I could use to smoothly say no or reject something while not hurting their feelings?

It's general thing for the people I think. Because I have this kind of feel as well, but I never say "No" to anyone. Instead of saying "No" better you can say "Yes, But it takes too long do" or give them an alternative solution to do somehow in another way. Even though I feel guilty sometimes the solutions I suggested not work out well by unexpected factors. Simply God decides those I think.

Always pain accompany with rejection.If we have faced it already ,then never wish to give such hard feelings to anyone.

In case if we are in a compelled situation to reject for someones betterment then we must look in to certain things before doing so.It is not a simple task.It needs a strong heart and polite ,kind words else it ends with miss understanding.The right way is to empathize their situation and react based on that.Saying directly to the person without hurting is welcomed but sometimes rejecting through friends or colleague reduces the awkwardness.

Originally Posted by Ritika

Take it positively. You have best quality of human being. and you manufacture to be kind and help others. People take advantage of others, that's where we live. Sometimes making enemies would be fun. if you are tired of doing it then make some good enemies to keep you going.

LOL...Making enemies is not fun for me actually. I like to be liked by most. I don't like to have a back-stabber around me as my enemy and I love having friends even though they take advantage of me. That's my problem.

Originally Posted by Karikaalan

Don't think you both are the ones . There are many others including me.. but I have improved a lot in this one year. As I took some big responsibilities(big as millions) in my shoulder for this one year, I was just forced to say No . Everytime I used to explain my situation. Now I am little used to say no . I learnt another important thing that when I say yes and do something they will always come back to us another time. Still its a hard task to say NO

Wow...How do you do it? Whenever I say no, they're like "You did this for them, why can't you do it for us?" and they make me feel like a traitor for getting off some work off me. How do you handle these dramas?
And I have a compulsive behaviour to say yes. I don't like people getting disappointed by me even for a second and that puts a hell load of a burden on my shoulders.
And I don't like saying No, without trying it even once. Any solutions?